When my kids reached the fifth grade, they were given a recorder. The one song they mastered was Hot Cross Buns. Over and over and over again. Hot cross buns, hot cross buns, one a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns. It haunts me. What the hell are hot cross buns anyway? And do they cost one penny or two?
So, why a recorder? The recorder is meant to introduce children to musical instruments. It’s like the pre-band class. The teacher must be a masochist to willingly give 30 kids somethings that takes very little effort to make horrible “music”.
Why am I reminiscing about the recorder? Because everything has to have a starting point. First the recorder, then percussion for my daughter, trombone for my son. Though they both played the piano and could read music, they learned to play as a group, waiting their turn to play, keeping count, making a not so pretty instrument sound pleasant in a group. Everything in this life has a humble beginning.
I started this blog in January 2022. It is still a bit ugly and I have yet to generate much interest. My biggest day was 16 views but that only happened once.
I thought it would be easy to just sit and write something that someone would want to read. Not easy.
I thought that having a Twitter account would launch me to something big. Not true.
Some people can tweet about their socks and have 547 comments. I can throw something personal out there and receive one like. I’m not sure how people do it (well, except the ladies with the cleavage pictures). In my defense, my profile is pretty anonymous. I don’t have any pictures of myself. Instead, I use a picture of my very handsome dead cat. So, I can’t rely on great aunts to like and retweet everything I say.
I feel a bit discouraged. I love writing but I’m also terrified to put my words out into the world. Somedays I just want to hide away and not be seen or heard. The worry and the self doubt is real y’all. (I’m not southern. I just thought a y’all suited that statement).
This career that I so desperately want is proving to be more difficult than expected. I suppose everything in life is; even Hot Cross Buns.
**Update on my book- I have not written a single sentence is over two weeks. I’m paralyzed with anxiety. Send help. Or wine.
Talk soon! Hopefully.